dear mr & mrs bloggie…
Pray tell, after all this time I’d finally come to terms with fate, why does it taunt me still? Have I not repented?
Ah, the question remains.
Fancy being a bitch and hoping these sins be….condoned. Fancy realizing only now that I, the believer, was after all this time, the sinner.
Mind, an eye-opener was what I needed and an eye-opener was what I received. To hear from another the mistakes she made mirrored my very imperfection. The scorned heart.
You cannot imagine the regret I’m going through as I live each day knowing I hurt someone with my ill words. After all, I know I was not brought up that way.
I was better than that. I am better than that. Yet, I chose to do what I did. I chose to conquer.
After such a long time, meeting the girlfriend was what I needed.
Catching up with her about our daily lives seemed apt after my awakening- aye, the guilt trip.
She knew me. She understood me. She made me say things even the priest would not hear in a confession.
All needed was a quiet spot and fags in hand, I knew wisdom would prevail. And yes, it did.
For she, Anna, came to terms with reality just the same time as I did. Funny it seemed… how realization could just dawn on you like the speed of lightning.
Funny how we saw the reflections of our very absurdity with the words that came out of our mouths, vulgar with such repulsion.
……….
Regret is such a strong feeling, I’m too overwhelmed.
I didn’t mean to be a bully. Be it my words or actions. Believe me please. I meant to defend, some, but all I did was attack.
One after another.
If prayers were answered, ours would back track quite a few years then, saints would be by our sides I daresay.
Our words would not be filled with venom. Take my word for this. Justly, every evil is followed by some good. Let this be mine.
If you’d care to read between the lines, you’d see I never meant to go that far. And for that, I shall retreat.
The bitch has retired.
For now.
Don’t test me again.
It won’t be that pleasant the next time.
.
.
.
.
Oh drat, there I go again!
Damn you bitchy fingers!!!
fasyalba
5 Comments
May 29, 2008 at 12:29 am
i want to bawl but good always come when we meet each other..more of that please…
love u bitch.
May 31, 2008 at 10:21 pm
eh babe! i received your msn msg alright and i saying that you shouldn’t waste your money on postage since i’m already coming home soon and that way we’ll HAVE to meet up when i’m back.. clever or not my idea?
June 7, 2008 at 11:12 am
hi, was blog hopping and came across your blog. Very interesting I must say with loads of pictures from your trips.
the thing that triggers me to write you this comment is to actually ask you what sort of job are you doing that requires you to travel so frequently?
seems great!
the only thing that i can think of is a flight stewardess?
June 7, 2008 at 11:49 am
ouuuUhhhh awakkkkk~~ i mIss u !!! u didnt come for grad soooo when will our FC3 date be? ouH yah i gOt newS… go to her f*ster,click on the 1st testi, den u got urself u wonderful human creation of ….just go see it ok
June 13, 2008 at 4:50 am
dear anna…
love u back biatch!
dear tea…
wah must meet eh eh eh!!!
dear erni…
thanks for dropping by ya. hee…
psst! btw the answer is yes. k bye!
dear my baby…
awak kiter nak jumpe awak!!! nak makan macaroni goreng!!!